My husband Neil and I just had a four day 'sexy weekend' in Sydney - (I don't like the term 'dirty weekend' - sounds.... well dirty!) Anyway we had the best time relaxing and doing what couples do when there's no kids interupting you!
The trip was relatively easy to Organize. My mum - god love her - looked after the kids - so we could enjoy our break knowing everything was under control at home.
Not having to organizing what to cook when you go away, is one of the best parts of a break forn the kids I think. We went to some great restaurants - some 'cheap eats' and others quite classy. The food was divine!! We had the best position to 'people watch' at one restaraunt, where all sorts of interesting people were walking past including X- Prime Minister Paul Keating and X-Olympian Debbie Flintoff King. I had heaps of ideas for future Organizing articles during the trip - the creativity really flows when you don't have the usualy worries to think about and a zillion and one things to organize!
If in need of a but of help to spice up your sex life then you might like to read this article.
Organize Your Sex Life…..Yes you heard me right!
by Claire McFee www.organizeyourlife.com.au
Bit personal for some of you I know, and if that’s the case for you stop reading now. But perhaps think for a moment - if it is too personal, even in the privacy of your own home – maybe there are some issues that need addressing? I must admit I’ve had fun writing this article - the first one I’ve written on this topic of SEX. Generally you only need to organize your sex life if you don't have much of one, which we have all experienced at one stage or another….. for way longer than many of us would care to admit, but hey, that’s life. With the ridiculously long working hours most of have and if children are added to the mix it’s not really any surprise is it?!!
Sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands – literally – as well as figuratively (sorry couldn’t resist) - and do something about it. So onto some solutions for these sex, (or lack of sex) issues :-
Book it in
If you are out of the habit to a large degree some of the best advice on the topic I read once said something like “You need to sometimes have sex when you aren’t really in the mood just to help you get back in the swing of things.” To expect to be in the mood with a regular partner when it’s been an age isn’t realistic, so as boring and unromantic as it sounds setting a specific time to do the deed for want of a better phrase can actually help get you back into the swing of things. Put it in your diaries and actually stick to it and hopefully your libido will kick back in and it will turn into the spontaneous and enjoyable act it should be.
Raunchy Reading Material
A raunchy book or magazine may do the trick to put you in the mood,. If you are in the category of a partner who is wanting more sex but you don’t, (and their usual methods of arousing you are not working like they used to), you can read a chapter or so of one such book to give you a head start without your partner even having to know it wasn't all them if you think it will adversely affect their confidence. I promise they won’t be complaining!
Off-the-shelf Libido Enhancing Products
I wouldn’t go down this path unless you have a good naturopath or Kinesiologist who knows your history and whether the mix of ingredients and importantly the quantity of each is going to have a positive effect anything for you and your sex life. Otherwise they could be at best a waste of money or at worst actually making the situation worse and even masking what may be the real problem.
Hormones gone awry?
Look at your hormone levels (more closely than a simple one off blood test result will give you) – but rather - again -with a good Naturopath/Kinesiologist, who can tell you if any of your hormone levels are too high or too low and can give you something to rectify it. Otherwise you may be fighting an unwinnable battle until you do – with no more sex in the meantime.
Sex after a baby
A tip for those who have recently had a baby and you are a bit apprehensive about going ‘there’ after what your nether regions have been through- a great way to ease yourself into action in the area is to use a vibrator or the like so that if it is a bit uncomfortable at first then you don’t transfer this unease onto your partner. Now why don’t they have this great tip in any pregnancy before and after books it’s a real gem!!
There are some products out there that focus on female arousal which is great, (considering how heavily weighted it is the other way – little blue pill and all) but you need to be aware that there are no regulations with these sorts of products and using them on your private parts is at your own - potentially great risk. I know of a case where a woman used one such pleasure inducing cream which was great for her but unfortunately for her parent had a burning effect on him– ouch!
You don’t even have to go through the potential embarrassment (you know it’s all only in you head) of buying sex related items such as the funnily but in many cases aptly named ‘Marital Aides’ in a store – you can simple do it anonymously from home.
Varying the good old ‘normal’ position you ‘do the deed’ can mix things up enough to peak your interest sexually. An interesting product on the market that can be used by pretty much anyone (even George Clooney I’ve heard) is the Loving Angles mini couch/bed all in one, enabling you to get into some more sexually charged positions with relative ease. Check it out at www.lovingangles.com.au
Psychological Sex Issues
Counselors or Sex Therapists to be even more specific can be a great way to jump start things in the bedroom if there are underlying Psychological issues/resentments that you cannot resolve yourself. Look at it this way ‘Would it be better to put up with the same problem for goodness knows how many years or actually make a stand for the quality of your life and do something about it, putting any embarrassment or pride out of the way? Which lifelong reality would you rather have on your death bed?
Get a lock on the bedroom door!
If you have kids you know about the fear of being sprung in the act, which can end up being a conscious and sometimes unconscious reason for not getting intimate. A great way around this is to put a lock on bedroom door. Explaining to the kids that you need some privacy sometimes can only be a healthy thing. So get down to the Hardware store ASAP! Just be sure to put the lock up high if you have young children so there are no ‘children locked in the bedroom’ accidents.
Medical Sex issues
Sometimes no sex drive is a result of a more serious sexual issue that may need medical intervention. Having a good rapport with your doctor is vital here. As with any profession there are good and bad doctors and a prudish doctor if may result in a road block in this area and the solutions you need. Like anything – shop around making sure to put your ego in your back pocket for a while and get on with it. Putting up with no sex life is not healthy for you physically or mentally, with very few being able to do it successfully - even willingly. So source the help that is out there and find what is right for making a difference to you personally. Patience and persistence will get you there.